Women, Sex and Orgasm
MasturbationNeither masturbation frequency nor amount of satisfaction from masturbation was significantly related to clitoral-vaginal preference. There was not even a hint of a relationship. One might have expected that the clitorally oriented woman who particularly enjoys manual manipulation (which is usually focused in the clitoral area) would also have a special liking for masturbation, which is also manual in character, and in most instances directed to the vicinity of the clitoris. The fact that this expectation was not fulfilled suggests that the two modes of excitation, although involving analogous anatomical areas, are quite different psychologically. But is this true? It was proposed earlier that what is typical of the clitorally oriented woman is that she prefers a sexual context in which she can feel that she has full possession of her own body, that it is not fused with the body of another. If so, would not the masturbatory situation, which does not involve a sex partner at all, be an even clearer instance of what the clitorally oriented woman prefers? Does this not imply a considerable similarity between the two forms of sexual stimulation? Perhaps so, but the similarity may be only superficial. First of all, there is evidence that although the clitorally oriented woman wants to maintain a sense of being in full possession of her own body, one of the motivations for masturbation is to express a defiant independence (of her mother). That is, masturbation goes a step beyond the simple assertion of self-ownership to a more defiant rejection of any outside hold on one's body. Masturbation may represent psychologically a more radical position with respect to how one wants one's body to be related to others (at a sexual level) than the clitorally oriented woman seeks. Some have pointed out another aspect of masturbation that may differentiate it psychologically from the needs of the clitorally oriented woman. In analyzing the act of masturbation they have been impressed with how often it takes on an unreal quality and involves relating to a fantasized or imaginary partner. That is, in the process of masturbating there is an isolation from others that imparts to it an unusual aura of unreality. Laing states: "The awareness the masturbator has of his body is complicated by the fact that his body has been seduced from real action into participation in an imaginary situation." He adds, "The body as used in the act of masturbation is employed with the express intention of gaining satisfaction by eliminating the problems of coping with other real bodies. . . . The 'real' other person who is the object of desire becomes merely the shadow of the imagined other. This is one of the problems the masturbator runs into: his imagination casts its shadow over him..." One of the implications of this view is that during masturbation a woman would find that her body takes on somewhat strange, unreal qualities, and in that sense might seem to belong less to herself than it usually does. Relatedly, Laing and others have also remarked that during masturbation the individual is forced to take several divided perspectives toward his own body. He is simultaneously the recipient of stimulation, the giver of stimulation, and perhaps in fantasy still another figure who has been brought into the act. This could mean that masturbation encourages a division of identity as well as multiple modes of regarding or experiencing one's own body. The clitorally oriented woman, who has been speculatively portrayed as motivated to maintain a clear sense of "My body belongs to me," might find the unreality of the masturbatory situation and its encouragement of multiple modes of experiencing one's body to be unacceptable. What about the vaginally oriented woman? One would presume that although the sharing of her body with others she could achieve through fantasy during masturbation, might please her, she would find the literal isolation of her body (and the obvious fact that its experiences would be her sole responsibility) to be unpleasant. A final matter of interest with regard to masturbation derives from Kinsey's observation that of the 62 percent of their total sample of women who reported ever having masturbated, only 4 to 6 percent did not know how to climax as they made love. That is, about 96 percent of these women could reach orgasm through their self-stimulation. The 4 to 6 percent who were unable to orgasm during sex may be contrasted with the considerably higher percentages who cannot achieve orgasm while stimulated by a male sex partner. Even after five years of marriage 17 percent of married women have not had an orgasm during their sexual contacts with their partners. One possible explanation of this difference might be that the 68 percent of women who do report masturbating represent a special selective sample with unusual orgasmic potential and that their superiority in this respect would also be evidenced in their sexual response to a male partner. That is, only 4 to 6 percent of them would be completely non-orgasmic with a sex partner. However, this is unlikely for two reasons. First, frequency of masturbation has only a chance relationship to orgasm consistency. Furthermore, in the Kinsey data one finds that even of those women with considerable masturbatory experience prior to marriage, 16 percent still achieved no orgasms at all during the first year of marriage. This 16 percent clearly exceeds the 4 to 6 percent who cannot reach orgasm through sex or masturbation. There is no obvious simple way to dismiss the apparently greater ability of women to attain orgasm during masturbation than in interaction with a male sex partner. One must conclude that the presence of the male sex partner introduces an anti-orgasm influence. Is this anti-orgasm influence merely caused by the poorer stimulation techniques of the male as compared to those that a woman can bring to bear on her own body? That is, are women simply more skillful in how they apply stimulation to their own genital areas? Although this may be true in some cases, it is doubtful that it is generally true. One notes, for example, that even among extremely well-educated women, who would presumably have partners who are well educated (and highly intelligent), 15 percent fail according to Kinsey to attain orgasm at all after five years of marriage. One would be skeptical that the majority of partners of such educational (and intellectual) attainment would have neglected during a five-year time span to learn a good deal about stimulating their wives. It is unlikely (although admittedly debatable) that failure of orgasm in such a sample would, in any major way, be caused by lack of technique on the partner's part. There is probably more logic in attributing the male sex partner's anti-orgasm effect to his psychological impact. Inhibition of orgasm in women is correlated with fear of loss of objects, one can even specifically suggest that the male partner's negative effect is caused by the concern he arouses about such loss. In many cases the presence of the male sex partner appears to increase the woman's concern about object loss beyond the level that is present when a woman stimulates herself sexually. Although certain difficulties related to role and feelings of unreality were mentioned as possibly arising during a woman's sexual self-stimulation, they seem to have less orgasm inhibiting power than does the presence of the male sex partner. One could say that she finds herself a more dependable object to which to relate than she does a man. It is pertinent to this matter that Kinsey found that women with extensive homosexual experience produce higher orgasm rates in their female partners than do men in their partners after five years of marriage. The question arises whether the orgasm-inhibiting effect of the male is somehow caused by his being of a different sex. Kinsey et al specifically proposed that a female may be more capable than a male of stimulating a female adequately because she has a better understanding of the feelings, sensations, and anatomy involved - and therefore has better stimulation techniques. They stated: The higher frequency of orgasm in the homosexual contacts may have depended in part upon the considerable psychological stimulation provided by such relationships, but there is reason for believing that it may also have depended upon the fact that two individuals of the same sex are likely to understand the anatomy and physiologic responses and psychology of their own sex better than they understand that of the opposite sex. One is left with the obvious alternative of having to ask whether the process of interacting with a male figure sexually does not itself have a negative impact upon a wide range of women. This calls to mind again that data indicated that orgasm consistency is related to certain attitudes toward the father, but not toward the mother. It may be that socialization experiences in our culture engender in a majority of women certain negative feelings toward the father that later cause them to respond in specifically negative ways (among, of course, other positive ways) to the intimate presence of any masculine figure. One must underscore that this entire discussion has been concerned with the negative impact of the masculine presence upon orgasm. It goes without saying, of course, that unique positive feelings and satisfactions are probably derived from sexual intimacy with a male partner, and it is unlikely that either masturbation or homosexual stimulation (in the present cultural climate) provide these satisfactions.
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